


i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where

by RegalPotato



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (1963)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, F/M, Ficlet, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:16:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22121680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RegalPotato/pseuds/RegalPotato
Summary: “You almost died,” he says, echoing Vicki - who’s made her own way to her feet, and has curled into the Doctor’s side by the console.“I’m fine, Ian.”She says it firmly, confidently, but she’s almost certain no one in the room believes her - especially as her hands, still clasped gently between Ian’s, are trembling faintly.--Ian comes to a startling realisation after Barbara almost dies.
Relationships: Ian Chesterton/Barbara Wright
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a fan of posting fics under 1.5k words on AO3, but my big Ian/Barbara fic is still in the works, and I wanted to get this out whilst my hyperfixation is active.
> 
> This is entirely the brain child of my wonderful friend, Cyn (and the general headcanon of our group chat - that everyone but Ian knows he's in love). Cyn doesn't write fic, even though she should. So I dedicate this to her.

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. ― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

-

The four of them rush through the TARDIS doors, the sounds of war screaming at their heels, out of breath, full of fear. Ian and Barbara collapse to their knees, Vicki following suit, turning onto her back to stare up at the ceiling. There’s silence for a moment as the three of them catch their breath, watching the Doctor as he staggers to the console. The door eases shut, just in time, the sound of arrows thudding into the outside wood making bile rise in Barbara’s throat.

“That was _awful_ ,” Vicki pants beside them, eyes wide. “You almost _died!”_

Barbara reaches out a hand to pat comfortingly at Vicki’s raised knee, a smile she doesn’t feel like making forced onto her face. It’s shaky, but Vicki seems to accept it, her usual brightness returning slowly. The ship whirs softly around them as the Doctor dematerialises it, the rare lack of turbulence a pleasant surprise. Barbara sighs, rising to her feet and drawing a deep breath. She needs a shower, wants it to scald away the blood and grime and _memories_ of the last few hours. And then she needs a rather large glass of wine. 

“Where are you going?” comes Ian’s slightly panicked voice as she makes to leave the console room. 

Barbara turns, a small frown forming between her eyebrows, to find Ian still on the floor beside Vicki. His eyes are wide, bright with something akin to _fear_ , and staring straight at her. 

“For...a shower?” she answers slowly, eyes flicking to the Doctor’s strangely amused face before returning to Ian’s worried one. 

Ian scrabbles to his feet, rushing forwards to grab her hands between his. She blinks, all too used to Ian’s fondness for physical affection, and tilts her head to the side in a silent question.

“You almost _died_ ,” he says, echoing Vicki - who’s made her own way to her feet, and has curled into the Doctor’s side by the console. 

“I’m fine, Ian.”

She says it firmly, confidently, but she’s almost certain no one in the room believes her - especially as her hands, still clasped gently between Ian’s, are trembling faintly. Ian swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing gently in his throat, and his fingers curl tighter around her own. 

“No, you’re not. _I’m_ not.”

“Ian, I-”

“Barbara! You...I need to tell you something. Please. What happened today...I can’t lose you.”

She stops breathing. 

Ian’s looking at her pleadingly, deep-blue eyes glistening with emotion. Her heart aches for him. Carefully, Barbara slips one of her hands from his hold, raising it to rub a smudge of dirt - or blood - from his cheek with the pad of her thumb. 

“I’m here. I’m safe. And I’ll be okay,” she promises, fingers unfurling to curve around his jaw. 

She can feel some of the tension leave his frame at her words, and she smiles - a real smile that curves her cheeks. Because she will be okay, with Ian. With Vicki and the Doctor. 

“Barbara…”

“Ian?”

“I love you.” It comes out all at once, a rushed breath of words. But she hears them clearly.

Affection bursts across her chest, the hand at Ian’s cheek flattening to press her palm against his skin. She grins, a small burst of laughter escaping. 

“I know,” she teases gently.

“We all know!” the Doctor yells from across the room, Vicki giggling beside him. 

Barbara startles, having momentarily forgotten they hadn’t been alone, but the hands still wrapped around hers tug slightly, keeping her in place. 

Ian scoffs.

“How can you know? I just came to that conclusion myself. Not ten minutes ago when Barbara had a...a sword at her throat.” He stumbles over the sentence, and Barbara hums softly, her fingers brushing lovingly over his ear. 

The Doctor rolls his eyes, as if the answer should be obvious, and graciously pulls a still-giggling Vicki from the room without another word. Before Ian gets a chance to ask her ‘how’, Barbara slides her hand around his head, pushes up on her toes, and presses her mouth to his. 

Ian freezes in surprise, but not for long, his hands leaving hers to curl tightly around her waist. Other hand now free, Barbara grips at the front of his shirt, the warmth of his skin seeping through the torn fabric - a reminder that it hadn’t just been her own life at risk today. Her mouth parts automatically at the thought, a need to have him closer, to feel him better. And Ian doesn’t hesitate, tongue sliding past her lips to press against her own. 

He tastes like ash and fear - a nightmare become reality.

He tastes like salvation. 

Barbara sighs as they break apart, her head swimming. Ian pulls her even closer, their bodies flush together, and she’s glad for the contact, for an anchor to keep her upright. They’re both drained from the events of the day, mentally and physically, and so the talk she knows Ian won’t let her avoid can wait for another day. 

“For the record, Ian,” she says, gentle laughter in her voice. “In case it wasn’t clear. I love you, too, you ridiculous man.”

He grins, the boyish smile of his that never fails to charm her, and brushes a stray curl of hair behind her ear. “Good,” he breathes, before dipping his head and slanting his lips over hers once again. 

The lights around them flicker softly, a gentle hum rising from the console, and despite it all, everything fits perfectly into place.

**Author's Note:**

> The original fic idea by Cyn:
> 
> Ian: Barbara!  
> Barbara: Ian!  
> Ian: I... love you.  
> Barbara: I know  
> One: We all know  
> Ian: How can you know, I just came to that conclusion myself!  
> One: *looks directly into the camera *
> 
> Barbara kisses Ian. They part. Ian steps closer cause he doesn't know personal space. They kiss again. The Tardis makes approving noises.


End file.
